You will never know the joy I feel when I see my children smile... You will never know how it feels for YOUR children to look at you with love...and admiration...
I am so grateful that my daughter has an actual father, who loves her, and cares for her... HE would NEVER leave her... never REPLACE her... I am not angry with you.. I just do not understand why...
Why did you do this to me?...
You replaced me... with another daughter, named Mandy (my name sake..the song you sang to MY mother on your prom night)...her birthday the day after mine... I have never received a birthday card... the only thing I ever received was the words you thought I did not hear..
"I wish it were you" (said to my brother)... when I chose to move to Texas to try to be with you...
I get it, I understand... but not so much...
Every single time I look into my children's eyes I see love... I see joy... And I know that they are a part of me! I have only ever tried to better myself; to be worthy of them....
I am not sure whether you live or if you have died... why?
Because you have always shoved my brother and I away... you lived 15 minutes away and we did NOT see you for 8 years...
At this point, I really do not care...(ok maybe a little)... but only because you and my "mother" threw us both away...
To quote Mercutio... "A plague o' both your houses!!" ...
I am spent!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yJqDTSufBE
Friday, March 29, 2013
Monday, March 25, 2013
Thought For Today
"If you accuse someone of judgement, then You have cast a judgement of your own. To judge another's actions or statements as a judgement is to make yourself as immoral as the person you have just condemned." ~A.S. (Amanda Shoemake... aka Me)
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Cheddar's ~ Hattiesburg ,MS ~Review
So basically this is a review of sorts ~ From my personal experience at above mentioned restaurant...
((Not written in article form (that will come later) these are the notes I took as the experience occurred))
Arrival Time: 6:33 (as recorded by Foursquare check-in)
Front door congestion
Hostess was "spacey"; we waited with other...with no explanation or apology for the wait....
Waiter ~ Mike ~ approached table and was way more attentive to me (i.e. he smiled and talked to me not our table (who consisted of me, my 2 children, and my ex)
There was a slow return on our drinks, his excuse was he had a large party
While understandable (as 2 people (my Ex and I) whom have both worked in restaurants, this was a weak excuse... the party was 10 people and as far as we saw there was NO excuse... he had 2 people helping
I ordered strawberry lemonade ... the strawberries were frozen...which should NOT happen... frozen adds no flavor
After waiting 18 minutes after drinks, with entrees ordered, we still had No app
6:54 ~ the honey butter croissants arrived ~ no side plates .. they were however very flaky and amazing!!
6:58 ~ Spin dip arrived .. again NO side plates... I asked again for them
While the dip was ok, it lacked flavor (had no artichokes((which were not suppose to be there but, the dip needed the "kick"))
The side salsa that was given was fresh and vibrant!
The chips. however, were very oily!!! and some of them were not even cooked (aka flimsy)
After all that.. we were informed the NOLA Pasta my ex order was 86'd and he had to relook at menu
(He then ordered Monte Crisco)
Monte Crisco ~ was on the "brown" side of done, had a very funnel cake flavor ... i.e greasy and overload of powdered sugar
My order was ~ Dijon Chicken with Mushroom - Clearly I expected more than just plain Dijon mustard on my chicken (which is what I received)..Chicken was ok , there was way to much "sauce" and the entire plate was lukewarm
Mushrooms were a greasy mess, they tasted of overt chicken bullion (i.e. super salty!)
The side ~ Broccoli Casserole was a Bland gloppy mess...tasted of frozen store bought broccoli and rice
My son ordered Chicken and Waffles... which did not arrive until 7:30!!! which was 8 minutes AFTER everyone Else's food was delivered...
This is where my not taking gets confusing...the above statements are NOT chronological
((Digress!! ... Ordered refills on rootbeer at 6:58... and then again at 7:04...) was received at 7:08
At 7:12, the waiter said food would be out shortly...
I have been drinkless for over 8 minutes (waiter has walked by MANY times) 7:22
7:22 Food arrives... No Chicken & Waffles for My son
7:30 Above entree arrives...light on powdered sugar..
At 7:46, MY drink finally arrives... which is AFTER we've asked for boxes and have received the check...
........................................................................................................................................
Needless to say, I was completely unsatisfied... the waiter (even with his over attention to me) was "ok" ... I have since veto'd going back here a few times... I understand bad nights.. but this wasn't the first... it was however, the first I started taking notes.....
((Not written in article form (that will come later) these are the notes I took as the experience occurred))
Arrival Time: 6:33 (as recorded by Foursquare check-in)
Front door congestion
Hostess was "spacey"; we waited with other...with no explanation or apology for the wait....
Waiter ~ Mike ~ approached table and was way more attentive to me (i.e. he smiled and talked to me not our table (who consisted of me, my 2 children, and my ex)
There was a slow return on our drinks, his excuse was he had a large party
While understandable (as 2 people (my Ex and I) whom have both worked in restaurants, this was a weak excuse... the party was 10 people and as far as we saw there was NO excuse... he had 2 people helping
I ordered strawberry lemonade ... the strawberries were frozen...which should NOT happen... frozen adds no flavor
After waiting 18 minutes after drinks, with entrees ordered, we still had No app
6:54 ~ the honey butter croissants arrived ~ no side plates .. they were however very flaky and amazing!!
6:58 ~ Spin dip arrived .. again NO side plates... I asked again for them
While the dip was ok, it lacked flavor (had no artichokes((which were not suppose to be there but, the dip needed the "kick"))
The side salsa that was given was fresh and vibrant!
The chips. however, were very oily!!! and some of them were not even cooked (aka flimsy)
After all that.. we were informed the NOLA Pasta my ex order was 86'd and he had to relook at menu
(He then ordered Monte Crisco)
Monte Crisco ~ was on the "brown" side of done, had a very funnel cake flavor ... i.e greasy and overload of powdered sugar
My order was ~ Dijon Chicken with Mushroom - Clearly I expected more than just plain Dijon mustard on my chicken (which is what I received)..Chicken was ok , there was way to much "sauce" and the entire plate was lukewarm
Mushrooms were a greasy mess, they tasted of overt chicken bullion (i.e. super salty!)
The side ~ Broccoli Casserole was a Bland gloppy mess...tasted of frozen store bought broccoli and rice
My son ordered Chicken and Waffles... which did not arrive until 7:30!!! which was 8 minutes AFTER everyone Else's food was delivered...
This is where my not taking gets confusing...the above statements are NOT chronological
((Digress!! ... Ordered refills on rootbeer at 6:58... and then again at 7:04...) was received at 7:08
At 7:12, the waiter said food would be out shortly...
I have been drinkless for over 8 minutes (waiter has walked by MANY times) 7:22
7:22 Food arrives... No Chicken & Waffles for My son
7:30 Above entree arrives...light on powdered sugar..
At 7:46, MY drink finally arrives... which is AFTER we've asked for boxes and have received the check...
........................................................................................................................................
Needless to say, I was completely unsatisfied... the waiter (even with his over attention to me) was "ok" ... I have since veto'd going back here a few times... I understand bad nights.. but this wasn't the first... it was however, the first I started taking notes.....
Monday, July 30, 2012
Closed Minded People and The Things They Say
So, chances are if you are reading this... you've followed a link from my facebook or twitter. And honestly, I am getting sick of Facebook (again). I am so mentally exhausted by people and their inability to see beyond their safe little place in "their world". Every single day someone posts something against another's chosen sexual preference... Because why? Does that person's choice have anything to do with them? Negative! Does that person choosing to be with someone of the same sex somehow "smut" up their world? Negative...
I come from "The Bible Belt" and as much as I would like to think people truly understand things... they really don't. I previously blogged about how a lot of us were open minded and weren't concerned with these things; and just to prove me wrong, my Facebook page "friends" decided to jump on the anti-gay ban wagon of Doom.
While I am not religious, I have studied religion. I made it a point in my life to know and understand another person's views... I really wish other people would take the time to educate themselves on these things. I get so tired of seeing someone state that "Their God" is going to send someone to "Hell" because of their sexual preference... Again, I may be wrong (it happens), but isn't "Their God" the preacher of Love, Patience, and Understanding? I am pretty sure I read somewhere that He loves EVERYONE, regardless of their race, their age,etc.
When did the "humble masses" take it upon themselves to proclaim "In His Name" that being homosexual is wrong and that is it ok to judge and persecute them? I recall a specific instance in history where someone decided another group of people were wrong for their beliefs and that they should be punished...I can't properly recall all that was recorded, due to the fact that most of the information was in German, but my point remains valid.
It deeply saddens me to think that these people are following in the same footsteps. I am not an activist and I am heterosexual; I obviously suffer from the delusion that what you put out in this world, you get back and that if you cast negatives views towards another... it is only to distract from your faults. I have a deep compassion for all people. Everyone has a story, everyone has a reason for making the choices they make, and ultimately, they have to live with the consequences. NOT YOU!
So stop making a cranial-anal head fixture out of yourself. Take a moment to actually read the book you put all your hopes in... You may just find out that you are taking something pure and twisting it to suit your own needs/views. And if this blog pisses you off, Good! It wasn't intended too; you only get upset or feel guilt whenever you know what you are doing is WRONG... <(￣︶￣)>
Oh, and please feel free to remove me from your Facebook or Twitter... I try to spend my life in the Positive and frankly, all Your "positive negatives" are messing with my Chi.
I come from "The Bible Belt" and as much as I would like to think people truly understand things... they really don't. I previously blogged about how a lot of us were open minded and weren't concerned with these things; and just to prove me wrong, my Facebook page "friends" decided to jump on the anti-gay ban wagon of Doom.
While I am not religious, I have studied religion. I made it a point in my life to know and understand another person's views... I really wish other people would take the time to educate themselves on these things. I get so tired of seeing someone state that "Their God" is going to send someone to "Hell" because of their sexual preference... Again, I may be wrong (it happens), but isn't "Their God" the preacher of Love, Patience, and Understanding? I am pretty sure I read somewhere that He loves EVERYONE, regardless of their race, their age,etc.
When did the "humble masses" take it upon themselves to proclaim "In His Name" that being homosexual is wrong and that is it ok to judge and persecute them? I recall a specific instance in history where someone decided another group of people were wrong for their beliefs and that they should be punished...I can't properly recall all that was recorded, due to the fact that most of the information was in German, but my point remains valid.
It deeply saddens me to think that these people are following in the same footsteps. I am not an activist and I am heterosexual; I obviously suffer from the delusion that what you put out in this world, you get back and that if you cast negatives views towards another... it is only to distract from your faults. I have a deep compassion for all people. Everyone has a story, everyone has a reason for making the choices they make, and ultimately, they have to live with the consequences. NOT YOU!
So stop making a cranial-anal head fixture out of yourself. Take a moment to actually read the book you put all your hopes in... You may just find out that you are taking something pure and twisting it to suit your own needs/views. And if this blog pisses you off, Good! It wasn't intended too; you only get upset or feel guilt whenever you know what you are doing is WRONG... <(￣︶￣)>
Oh, and please feel free to remove me from your Facebook or Twitter... I try to spend my life in the Positive and frankly, all Your "positive negatives" are messing with my Chi.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
WTF is Up with Chef Wanted with Anne "I'm not a real chef" Burrell
Ok, Seriously! I love watching people cook, just as much as the next food'centric person, but this show has me questioning EVERYTHING!
As someone who is from the south, lives in the south (til the Aug 4th), and grew up in the south.. what is with all the weird ass statements made towards us on this show? First episode I saw involved a chef who referred to himself as "The Love Chef"... an African American man with 9 kids, who talked about Dirt roads... Now I am not knocking how many kids he has or his ethnicity, but damn it all... We have paved roads ( and yes, indoor toilets! shocking as it may be)... this is about as stereotypical a view of a black man as it could get.. why?
Because COME ON! most people think all we do in the south is make babies... and please for the love of all things unholy... brown sugar on everything?!!! ... NO!!... No!!! NOOOOO!... and guess what he didn't get the spot at the Ole Homestead Steak House... Well shit, was that a shocker?! .. An who the hell let that female in the kitchen in full makeup with FAKE NAILS?! ... that is against all the "rules" in a kitchen..It is unsanitary... those things are a breeding ground for germs! AND... You CAN NOT wear jewelry (except for a smooth band and at most stud earrings) and The Love Chef was sporting bling... Have some respect!
And then... OMG the episode with Todd English's place "Olive's" ... "he's an openly gay chef in the south"... What, WHAT?! Now we are homophobic? ... I know plenty of openly gay people here...unless you are chasing Warren"fuckin"Baetty, chances are, you are going to run into VERY open minded people who couldn't give a rat's ass about a person's race or their sexual preference...Can we please leave the "reality" shows where they belong...
Mhmmm... I just ranted... and you know what... I don't feel any better... I can assure you there WILL be more to come... because unless we stop with this hypocritical bullshit we call "television", we as a species are just going to keep digging a deeper hole...
GROW UP!!!
As someone who is from the south, lives in the south (til the Aug 4th), and grew up in the south.. what is with all the weird ass statements made towards us on this show? First episode I saw involved a chef who referred to himself as "The Love Chef"... an African American man with 9 kids, who talked about Dirt roads... Now I am not knocking how many kids he has or his ethnicity, but damn it all... We have paved roads ( and yes, indoor toilets! shocking as it may be)... this is about as stereotypical a view of a black man as it could get.. why?
Because COME ON! most people think all we do in the south is make babies... and please for the love of all things unholy... brown sugar on everything?!!! ... NO!!... No!!! NOOOOO!... and guess what he didn't get the spot at the Ole Homestead Steak House... Well shit, was that a shocker?! .. An who the hell let that female in the kitchen in full makeup with FAKE NAILS?! ... that is against all the "rules" in a kitchen..It is unsanitary... those things are a breeding ground for germs! AND... You CAN NOT wear jewelry (except for a smooth band and at most stud earrings) and The Love Chef was sporting bling... Have some respect!
And then... OMG the episode with Todd English's place "Olive's" ... "he's an openly gay chef in the south"... What, WHAT?! Now we are homophobic? ... I know plenty of openly gay people here...unless you are chasing Warren"fuckin"Baetty, chances are, you are going to run into VERY open minded people who couldn't give a rat's ass about a person's race or their sexual preference...Can we please leave the "reality" shows where they belong...
Mhmmm... I just ranted... and you know what... I don't feel any better... I can assure you there WILL be more to come... because unless we stop with this hypocritical bullshit we call "television", we as a species are just going to keep digging a deeper hole...
GROW UP!!!
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Sick of the Negativity!
So, I have chosen to move to a new city, attend a new school, and try to make a better life for myself and my children... and the vast majority of people around me are being so negative...
I understand that it isn't going to be easy...nothing worth doing or accomplishing ever is...
I am not looking for a new life handed to me on a silver platter...I know I am going to have to work my ass off to accomplish the goals I have set...There is no need in continuing to point out the obvious...
Negative thoughts invoke negative actions... I am trying to focus on the positive aspects... I get I am moving to a place that is expensive, I get that my children are going to miss me... Who in the HELL thinks I am not going to miss them too... Do people expect me to continue being "useless" until they graduate high school? ... Maybe I look at things differently because I have no parents... nor did I grow up in a family atmosphere...but showing my kids that no matter what happens in your life, if you continue to try and to move forward good things will happen, is way more important that ruffling a few feathers.
My only thoughts are trying to be a better person... I am a good mother and my kids understand what is going on.. how is it possible for a 10y/o and an 8y/o to understand that I am trying to improve our lives and the adults think I am going insane... Do they not realize that all they are doing (besides hurting me) is making me more and more determind?
My main goal was to improve my life thereby improving my childrens' ... but NOW... now I just want to make all those people with their negative ideas and attitudes eat their words...Just because I am southern does not mean I have no idea how the world works. I may speak slower, I may be polite and show respect, but all these things make me a better person...
I firmly stand behind the statement " Anything worth having, is worth working for." and if you are going to continue to try and bring me down... I WILL brush you off and keep on walking!!
I understand that it isn't going to be easy...nothing worth doing or accomplishing ever is...
I am not looking for a new life handed to me on a silver platter...I know I am going to have to work my ass off to accomplish the goals I have set...There is no need in continuing to point out the obvious...
Negative thoughts invoke negative actions... I am trying to focus on the positive aspects... I get I am moving to a place that is expensive, I get that my children are going to miss me... Who in the HELL thinks I am not going to miss them too... Do people expect me to continue being "useless" until they graduate high school? ... Maybe I look at things differently because I have no parents... nor did I grow up in a family atmosphere...but showing my kids that no matter what happens in your life, if you continue to try and to move forward good things will happen, is way more important that ruffling a few feathers.
My only thoughts are trying to be a better person... I am a good mother and my kids understand what is going on.. how is it possible for a 10y/o and an 8y/o to understand that I am trying to improve our lives and the adults think I am going insane... Do they not realize that all they are doing (besides hurting me) is making me more and more determind?
My main goal was to improve my life thereby improving my childrens' ... but NOW... now I just want to make all those people with their negative ideas and attitudes eat their words...Just because I am southern does not mean I have no idea how the world works. I may speak slower, I may be polite and show respect, but all these things make me a better person...
I firmly stand behind the statement " Anything worth having, is worth working for." and if you are going to continue to try and bring me down... I WILL brush you off and keep on walking!!
Friday, July 13, 2012
Self Reflection in the AM
I woke up this morning with "You" on my mind...
It seems like we've been apart since space became time.
Your laugh has grown distant, your eyes, how they've dimmed...
I have a feeling you've lost yourself...
Now where shall we begin..
You use to be carefree, hopeful, a gas
Now all you do, is fake smile and fake laugh
Somehow I think you've noticed
Perhaps you've realised...
Just how much the fire
has died within your eyes.
You were my ever-constant,
The one whom I turned to..
But now you're just a stranger...
A person I once knew...
Wrote this about myself... because I have always followed others advice...other people's opinions...and I am done!
It seems like we've been apart since space became time.
Your laugh has grown distant, your eyes, how they've dimmed...
I have a feeling you've lost yourself...
Now where shall we begin..
You use to be carefree, hopeful, a gas
Now all you do, is fake smile and fake laugh
Somehow I think you've noticed
Perhaps you've realised...
Just how much the fire
has died within your eyes.
You were my ever-constant,
The one whom I turned to..
But now you're just a stranger...
A person I once knew...
Wrote this about myself... because I have always followed others advice...other people's opinions...and I am done!
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